5 replies to this topic

[Dakotarose]

Every weekend its the same damn thing. My dad gets drunk, my parents fight. For the past.. I dunno.. 5(?) years ive had to deal with this shit.

My dad is a serious alcoholic. He's been to jail somewhere between 5 and 10 times. Ive had to deal with police , social workers, you name it talking to me about him. I had to live with my aunt and uncle for a while last summer too. Ive had to lie to my friends because I dont want them to see what a messed up family i come from and have them judge me. I remember when i was younger i had to tell them my dad was on a business trip when he was at jail or wasnt able to live with us. Like when I was 8ish and he couldnt live with us for a whole year.

My dad used to get drunk that he'd fall and couldnt get up. he'd even fall out of chairs. my mom wouldnt do anything, so i'd have to help him get up, go down the stairs without falling down them, and practically carry him to his bed. I'd hear crashes in the middle of the night and think "Oh, dad fell again." and have to go help. Thank God he's improved to where he doesnt get drunk enough to fall anymore.

Every weekend they fight. Its over the stupidest things too. My dad harasses my mom all night because he wants to have sex and she doesnt. its gotten so bad my dad has to sleep in a different room and my mom locks her door every night. He's so persistent because he thinks that sense she doesnt wanna do anything it means she doesnt love him. So that leads to other arguements. My dad complains and argues because he think we hate him but in reality we love him so much and we wish he could see that.

I dont even know if my dad is faithful to my mom anymore. Last night I opened up his laptop that he left sitting out and he was looking at hookers in our area. He has even asked if my friends mom (who i havent seen sense 5th grade) is still single and if shes looking.

My dad isnt the only issue. My mom constantly gets mad at my dad for no reason and refuses to do simple things as a family, such as watching a movie together. Shes locked him out of the house and called the cops on him for no reason. She also thinks she doesnt do anything wrong.

My dad always says hes gonna leave the next day and never come back. Or my mom will insist they get a divorce. I used to cry myself to sleep because of that, but ive heard those threats so many times I know they are lying. Besides, once Monday rolls around my dad has to get cleaned up for work, and after a few hours of the cold shoulder they make up and pretend everything is alright. That is, until the weekend.

Whats strange is these things are only a problem over the weekend. Im guessing its because its when my dad gets drunk.

Im almost positive my parents would be divorced if it werent for the fact my mom had a stroke and cant live on her own. Which brings up other things like how I dont have a normal mom. She had a stroke when I was 3 and hasnt fully recovered. She can hardly walk or talk and has problems doing simple things like spelling the word "apple". She was never able to teach me simple things like how to put my hair in braids. I love my mom a ton and wouldnt trade her for anybody else in the world, but its hard.

[Wolfie]

Dakotarose, on 25 July 2010 - 05:29 PM, said:

Every weekend its the same damn thing. My dad gets drunk, my parents fight. For the past.. I dunno.. 5(?) years ive had to deal with this shit.

My dad is a serious alcoholic. He's been to jail somewhere between 5 and 10 times. Ive had to deal with police , social workers, you name it talking to me about him. I had to live with my aunt and uncle for a while last summer too. Ive had to lie to my friends because I dont want them to see what a messed up family i come from and have them judge me. I remember when i was younger i had to tell them my dad was on a business trip when he was at jail or wasnt able to live with us. Like when I was 8ish and he couldnt live with us for a whole year.

...

Im almost positive my parents would be divorced if it werent for the fact my mom had a stroke and cant live on her own. Which brings up other things like how I dont have a normal mom. She had a stroke when I was 3 and hasnt fully recovered. She can hardly walk or talk and has problems doing simple things like spelling the word "apple". She was never able to teach me simple things like how to put my hair in braids. I love my mom a ton and wouldnt trade her for anybody else in the world, but its hard.

Never be ashamed of who your parents are. If your friends know the truth, then they may be more sympathetic to what's happening and actually be able to better help you cope with things when you really need a shoulder to lean on. They may even be a place for you to escape to when you need to get away from the drama.

As for your mom, sometimes life deals you a hand that seems unfair but it could be worse, she could have died and you'd never have known her.

You should talk to someone, like a therapist, because it can help a lot to deal with things like what you described. I don't envy your situation, because that is a tough one to be in and I certainly hope things will improve for you.

[Dakotarose]

Wolfie, on 25 July 2010 - 05:47 PM, said:

Never be ashamed of who your parents are. If your friends know the truth, then they may be more sympathetic to what's happening and actually be able to better help you cope with things when you really need a shoulder to lean on. They may even be a place for you to escape to when you need to get away from the drama.

I told two of my friends, but my other friends would have serious issues with it. I cant tell my best friend because she comes from like this picture perfect family and I know she would feel really uncomfortable around my parents, especially my dad. So that kinda bugs me. I guess im jealous. My other close friends would just react strangely and i cant trust two of them because they've told people my secrets in the past >.<

[Wolfie]

Dakotarose, on 25 July 2010 - 10:18 PM, said:

I told two of my friends, but my other friends would have serious issues with it. I cant tell my best friend because she comes from like this picture perfect family and I know she would feel really uncomfortable around my parents, especially my dad. So that kinda bugs me. I guess im jealous. My other close friends would just react strangely and i cant trust two of them because they've told people my secrets in the past >.<

If they can't be trusted with secrets, then it's a good idea to keep it from them and maybe even reconsider if they are your friends or not. As for your friend with the picture perfect family and others, you should give them a chance, they may surprise you.

[Kat]

Wolfie addressed most of the issues there. But one thing - there is no picture perfect family. We all have our secrets. Some are just more visible than others. I would suggest at least a school counselor if that's all you have access to. This also keeps your parents out of the loop for the most part. Just stay close to your friends, teachers, priest, whoever gives you a sense of peace.

[Myranda]

Rachel, i wish i was there to help you out:( But not all of your family sucks, because im your sister Girl!!!! and i dont suck(: Idunno, tryin to brightinn the mood of this situation, hope it worked. Anyways, love you, and im always around to talk to you when you feel this way