Transparent-Opacity

If you don't expect anything, then you get a suprise. If you expect too much, then all you get is a let down...

when I need to relax I oddly listen to angry music n it calms me down.. I dunno why

[i know I'm new here.. so I'll just make a post of this I've had a lot going on with me lately so I need to get it out... if you have felt like this feel free to comment or if you like what I say comment if what I say falls on dea ears I'll stop.. so here we go..] Yes folks an entry that might hit home to many of you.. maybe it will stir up old memories.. maybe it will bring fear of future endeavors I don't know but here are words that I know everyone hates to hear. "I want to still be friends.." It doesn't hurt the person who says it I know I've said it before and how stupid I was for saying it.. ut the person who says it does not realize the damage that is done.. it is like a knife through butter.. the cut is deeper then anything you can imagine.. Yeah you still want to be friends with this person that you've shared a relationship with but how hard that really is.. Easy for them they don't want the relationship.. hard for you because you are still in that relationship.. I again go back.. Over and over in my past I had done this.. "I know we aren't together anymore but I still want to be your friend" What an idiot I am and was.. This is why people don't take relationships seriously.. if you fall in too deep you drown.. But what a great feeling it is while you are in it.. Love really is a bastard if you think about it.. blinds you to everything even to something thats right in front of you.. But hey if we don't have pain we can never have true happiness.. Ah yes and ofcourse my favourite line of all time.. "Its not you.. its me.." I again am guilty as charged of using that line.. But if you go through your life without using some of these hurtful words I'd be surprised.. Yes we humans are very predictable in our ways of relationships.. How we lust and yearn for the warmth of another.. Is it so bad to be alone? I don't know.. I wish I did I think we all feel that if we are alone we are worthless when that is truthfully just the opposite.. We are all stronger then we all can really see. It's just when we are with another are strengths are shown to us.. As we are alone we haveta find our strengths and use them.. No alone isn't bad.. But it isn't good either.. I think at some point we are all alone even if we are around hundreds of people.. The human mind is an interesting place.. It is like a chest of treasures.. You may act like you are at one place but truthfully you could be in another.. Right now I'm at the beach but my head and my heart are somewhere else.. Which is why I'm writing this.. Will it do me any good? I don't know.. Will it help anyone else? I don't know.. Will anyone even read or understand this. Again I don't know.. What I do know is one of my strengths is my ability to write and express my feelings and what I've seen and done in my past.. And as I've found.. The past seems to repeat itself so all I can do is learn from it and try to make my future even better