Dakotarose

Shes 14.. and it was when he was babysitting her.

nooo not the molester i hardly know him:P But he and her family were like best friends. Her dad and him were supposed to go to LA together this week.

Somebody very close to me.

Somebody very close to me.

Who would molest a girl with mental disabilities? Who would molest anybody in the first place? Who the would do this to somebody so nice? So carefree? So loved? This is not fair. He should go to jail forever.

I just realized how stupid I am. My last post was about how upset I was over my haircut being messed up. Yes, it sucks considering I have school pictures soon. But why do I care so much about hair? And its not just me that worrys over stupid stuff like that, everybody does. We worry and fuss over the smallest things that dont matter. And its ridiculous. Last June I took a trip that changed my life. I went to the Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota with my church, and the kids there live in such terrible situations. When we were there, their water was shut off all over the city for no reason. They couldn't cook their meals, use a toilet or bath, or even have a drink of water. The houses are crumbling and falling apart and between 1 and 3 people commit suicide every week. The kids: Malisa: Shares a mattress with her mom, dad, 3 sisters, brother, and uncle. They dont have a car and have to walk 10 miles to the store and she has to walk 15 miles to the school, by herself. She cant count any higher than her age, which is 6. Her mom didnt trust us so she was giving a fake name, Malisa. I found out from the other kids her real name is Wiyanka. But luckly even though we werent trusted, she was still able to come play and learn.I fell in love with this girl and I miss her so much it hurts. Lovely: Her and her sisters are constantly beaten and abused by their own parents. We've seen them hit and kicked right in front of us. Kilimina: Wants a bunny really bad but "Daddy has no money" She has seen her dog killed by her neighbors (which isnt uncommon, kids constantly run them over with their bikes, kick them, etc because they have been hurt in their lives and think its OK to hurt back, and the animals are the only ones who wont fight them.), and her cat run over by a car. Laurence: His parents favor him over his sister Ragger, and its obvious. she is left out while he is "pampered", if you could even call it that. His dad is an alcoholic and when asked why his dad couldnt come play with us, he started to cry and say "he cant come because hes too drunk! Mommys really mad!" It broke my heart. Tanner: His parents abuse him terribly. He hates his life so much, he got involved in gangs and has burned down 2 houses in hopes of living in Juvie instead of with his parents. But his plan didnt work. These are just a couple of the kids and the very basics of what they have to go through. I just think its ridiculous that people worry over the dumbest things when there are people out there living lives like theirs. Why do people worry over what clothes to wear or get so upset when we cant buy the latest electronic? It bugs me when people complain about stuff like that, but I do the same thing. We really need to be thankful for what we have. It sucks when people dont realize they are so blessed.

...

School Pictures are in a few weeks, I ask for it a little above my shoulders She cuts it ABOVE MY CHIN. WHAT THE HELL. I'm pissed. She also screwed up my bangs. The left side of them is below my eyebrows, and the right side is about half an inch above. GO BACK TO BEAUTY SCHOOL.

I told two of my friends, but my other friends would have serious issues with it. I cant tell my best friend because she comes from like this picture perfect family and I know she would feel really uncomfortable around my parents, especially my dad. So that kinda bugs me. I guess im jealous. My other close friends would just react strangely and i cant trust two of them because they've told people my secrets in the past >.<

Every weekend its the same damn thing. My dad gets drunk, my parents fight. For the past.. I dunno.. 5(?) years ive had to deal with this shit. My dad is a serious alcoholic. He's been to jail somewhere between 5 and 10 times. Ive had to deal with police , social workers, you name it talking to me about him. I had to live with my aunt and uncle for a while last summer too. Ive had to lie to my friends because I dont want them to see what a messed up family i come from and have them judge me. I remember when i was younger i had to tell them my dad was on a business trip when he was at jail or wasnt able to live with us. Like when I was 8ish and he couldnt live with us for a whole year. My dad used to get drunk that he'd fall and couldnt get up. he'd even fall out of chairs. my mom wouldnt do anything, so i'd have to help him get up, go down the stairs without falling down them, and practically carry him to his bed. I'd hear crashes in the middle of the night and think "Oh, dad fell again." and have to go help. Thank God he's improved to where he doesnt get drunk enough to fall anymore. Every weekend they fight. Its over the stupidest things too. My dad harasses my mom all night because he wants to have sex and she doesnt. its gotten so bad my dad has to sleep in a different room and my mom locks her door every night. He's so persistent because he thinks that sense she doesnt wanna do anything it means she doesnt love him. So that leads to other arguements. My dad complains and argues because he think we hate him but in reality we love him so much and we wish he could see that. I dont even know if my dad is faithful to my mom anymore. Last night I opened up his laptop that he left sitting out and he was looking at hookers in our area. He has even asked if my friends mom (who i havent seen sense 5th grade) is still single and if shes looking. My dad isnt the only issue. My mom constantly gets mad at my dad for no reason and refuses to do simple things as a family, such as watching a movie together. Shes locked him out of the house and called the cops on him for no reason. She also thinks she doesnt do anything wrong. My dad always says hes gonna leave the next day and never come back. Or my mom will insist they get a divorce. I used to cry myself to sleep because of that, but ive heard those threats so many times I know they are lying. Besides, once Monday rolls around my dad has to get cleaned up for work, and after a few hours of the cold shoulder they make up and pretend everything is alright. That is, until the weekend. Whats strange is these things are only a problem over the weekend. Im guessing its because its when my dad gets drunk. Im almost positive my parents would be divorced if it werent for the fact my mom had a stroke and cant live on her own. Which brings up other things like how I dont have a normal mom. She had a stroke when I was 3 and hasnt fully recovered. She can hardly walk or talk and has problems doing simple things like spelling the word "apple". She was never able to teach me simple things like how to put my hair in braids. I love my mom a ton and wouldnt trade her for anybody else in the world, but its hard.

k dood, I clicked sign in with facebook or whatever @_@ thats the best i can do because for some reason this is super confusing to me