Wolfie Posted August 24, 2007 Report Share Posted August 24, 2007 Camel Joke - Brick Em This guy named Joe was going into the desert for a week and he needed a camel for the trip. Joe was a stranger to the desert but was able to locate a rent-a-camel office. Joe tells the rent-a-camel man that he will be making a long trip through the desert for one week. The rent-a-camel man says even his best camel can only go 4 days without water. After some discussion, the rent-a-camel man says "I don't like to suggest this, but you know a good camel can go an extra 3 days or more if he is bricked." Joe agrees to take the best camel. As he leaves the rent-a-camel office, the rent-a-camel man reminds Joe to brick the camel. Not wanting to display his ignorance, Joe doesn't ask about the procedure for bricking the camel. Well Joe knows that it is a long difficult trip for the camel and lets it eat ant drink its fill. He encourages the camel to take on all the water it can by offering it often. Sure enough 4 days into the trip the camel drops dead. Poor Joe barely makes it back to town alive and can't wait to confront the rent-a-camel man. "You rented me a poor camel", Joe says, "It died after only 4 days in the desert, and I almost perished with it." The puzzled rent-a-camel man looks up at Joe and says, "He was my best camel. Did you brick him?" Mad as hell, Joe replies, "Brick him, what the hell do you mean." The rent-a-camel man explains that when the camel bends over to take water, you take two bricks and slam his gonads, as the camel gasps with his head in the water he takes on another 3 to 4 day supply of water. "My GOD", Joe says," Doesn't that hurt?" The rent-a-camel man answers, "No! Just keep your thumbs out of the way when you slam the bricks together." Camel Joke - Raincoat Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke. Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! What is it that you put over your cigarette?" The other old lady said, "It's a condom." "A condom? Where do you get those?" The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?" The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel." Engineer Joke An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer--you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer,"So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake --he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says,"No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted August 24, 2007 Report Share Posted August 24, 2007 The first one was okay, second one was funny, and I don't get the third one lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted August 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Where do lawyers go when they die? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 In the ground...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted August 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Do they go to heaven or to hell? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Hell... Wow, what a gay joke. -.- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted August 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 You're only saying that because you weren't cool enough to get it at first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Nah, I said it because it was gay. And what does being cool have to do with getting a joke? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted August 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Obviously a lot if you thought that joke was "gay". Calling you a grouch is very fitting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 You're a meanie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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