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Who let the nuts file?

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(Say "Who let the nuts file?" like the song, "Who let the dogs out", it's funny.)



Ok, so if anyone needs proof that anyone can sue for anything/any reason, here it is. These are real, but I put them in the humor section because of how freaking funny it is.




Source: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,293268,00.html

South Carolina Inmate Hits Michael Vick With '$63,000,000,000 Billion Dollar' Lawsuit Alleging Al Qaeda Ties


Wednesday, August 15, 2007


Embattled NFL quarterback Michael Vick, facing federal charges related to his alleged participation in dogfighting, has been hit with a "$63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit filed by a South Carolina inmate who alleges the Atlanta Falcons star stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy "missiles from Iran," FOX News has learned.


Jonathan Lee Riches filed the handwritten complaint over "theft and abuse of my animals" on July 23 in the U.S. District Court in Richmond, Va.


Riches alleges that Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his home in Holiday, Fla., and used them for dogfighting operations in Richmond, Va. The complaint goes on to allege that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and “used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.”


The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.


“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.


Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.


FOXNews.com attempted to contact Vick, but neither he nor his spokesman could be reached for comment.




Source: http://www.foxnews.com/printer_friendly_st...,293625,00.html


Inmate Files Another Bizarre Lawsuit, Names Barry Bonds, Bud Selig and Hank Aaron's Bat


Friday , August 17, 2007

By Catherine Donaldson-Evans


The prisoner who made headlines by filing a "63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit against NFL quarterback Michael Vick is at it again, this time suing new home run king Barry Bonds, Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and a character unable to defend itself — Hank Aaron's bat.


The latest bizarre suit filed Aug. 13 by inmate Jonathan Lee Riches — who is in federal prison in South Carolina for wire fraud — is for "42,000,000 million dollars in Swiss Francs" and alleges that Bonds and Selig are enmeshed in a conspiracy involving steroids to boost TV ratings, according to the complaint, posted on Court TV's TheSmokingGun.com.


Selig, under the supervision of Sammy Sosa, has for years been secretly giving Bonds steroids, Riches writes.


Oh, and Robert Novak and Judith Miller are also involved. They have the transcripts of the clandestine meetings between Selig and Bonds (taped by Riches), during which Selig slipped Bonds steroids under the table, the inmate's rambling complaint states.


What crime did the bat commit, you ask?


"Barry Bonds uses Hank Aaron's corked bat during ballgames," writes Riches in the claim. "The bat has a secret chambers [sic] where Barry stores his HGH supplements. Bonds takes them while he awaits [sic] in the batters box."


Bonds also used the errant bat — which Riches says he won at a Sotheby's auction in 1998 — to crack the Liberty Bell, the lawsuit states.


Riches also says Bonds left him a threatening message on his iPhone, bench-pressed him against his will to show off in front of his buddies, got him indicted because he threatened to expose his steroid and cocaine abuse and even sold steroids to nuns.


The lawsuit accuses the defendants of a host of charges, including "bat assault," "treason," "terrorism" and "major fraud."


Riches wants the court to impose a "preliminary injunction temporary restraining order against the broadcast of MLB games, all defendant's [sic], defendant's pets and associates from any future contact with plaintiff."


He asks that the "42,000,000 million" in Swiss Francs be delivered in a certified money order to the "B.O.P. Lockbox in Des Moines, Iowa."


This claim, filed in U.S. District Court in Indiana, is the 17th federal complaint Riches has brought since January 2006 in 15 different jurisdictions. The Smoking Gun theorized he has been switching states to avoid getting in trouble for filing too many frivolous suits in the same jurisdiction.


The MLB said officials there hadn't seen Riches' complaint.


"We're not aware of it, so I don't think it would be appropriate to comment," said MLB spokesman Richard Levin.


Last month's lawsuit against Vick, whose co-defendants pleaded guilty to dogfighting charges on Friday, claims the Atlantic Falcons star stole Riches' pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy missiles from Iran.

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