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There's This Thing Called Generalized Anxiety Disorder..

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.. and i have it.

mainly, i don't like talking to new people in person or on the phone. i don't like checking out in stores because then i have to talk to the cashier. i don't like calling to make appointments because i have to talk to the secretary. i run through the conversations or interactions in my head tons of times before they happen. it sounds insane, but it's not something i can really do anything about except deal with in the best way i know possible, and that's with baby steps. i wish that some people would try to understand that a little better and not just demand that i do whatever they think i should do without having any compassion for my situation. it's not like i just make it up. it's something i have a really big problem dealing with in life. it's the reason i have a hard time going places alone. i tend to drag friends with me everywhere. at school, it's hard for me to even go to a meal without a friend, so a lot of times, if i can't find someone to go with i'll just stay in my room and skip it. probably not too terrible since i need to lose a bit of weight =P but obviously it's not just something i'm making up for the hell of it. i've been like this for as long as i can remember, and it sure isn't fun. and even when i do get somewhere, it's hard to do it again. like, when i was little, i used to always get gas, and i once managed to pour gasoline all over myself, so i never got my own gas, even though i've been driving for over 3 years. i finally got myself to do it this past spring, after going to the gas station many times and watching other people do it, convincing myself i wouldn't end up covered in gas, but i haven't done it again since then, so even after progress, i regress. oh well. it'd just be nice if CERTAIN PEOPLE would try to be a bit more understanding, even if waiting on me is getting annoying.

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it happens with a whole lot of other stuff and worrying in general. it's not just being shy. i tend to check alarms a lot to make sure they're set and make sure i get leave early so i'll get places on time. i have to be up plenty before i have to be somewhere just so i can get ready to go out. it's not fun. but i was really writing that to someone on here. lol.
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I think anxiety disorders are growing more and more common. Probably with all the fear inflicted by the government and the world its self.
Nah, you know what it is? It's all that artificial stuff in our food. The gov't has always been there. It's the preservatives, man. Eat organic!
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