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Word Association
Wolfie replied to Lady Night Owl's topic in Jokes, funny stories, humor and other fun
Home -
A good lesson in "size"....
Wolfie replied to BONES's topic in Jokes, funny stories, humor and other fun
That's just wrong. After all, maybe she has a boyfriend who has a size that is big enough already... -
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. --Spaceballs
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Ok in that case, when someone asks, just say loudly that she's mad because you caught her in (name of store). Then tack on a comment like you saw her go in and you went in to see what was up, so that it sounds like she was the reason you were there.
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Word Association
Wolfie replied to Lady Night Owl's topic in Jokes, funny stories, humor and other fun
raising -
4. So just ask her why she's calling you that, and then when she answers (probably loudly so others will hear) that she saw you at that store, be like, "But I saw you go in there so I went in to see why..." That'll reverse it back on her in a way where she can't make it seem like you were shopping there but she wasn't. Or something else that's snappy that makes it clear that in order to see you there, she had to be there too, and because she wanted to be there.
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That's just wrong... I would guess that the wife never kisses him on the cheek anymore, knowing that in a way, she'd be kissing her own ass. Of course, if she ever needed to kiss her ass goodbye...
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1. NP. 2. Good. 3. Do tell. 4. What was she doing in the store? Pot calling the kettle black, eh?
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1. Look at how I phrased it. I said it in generics, instead of specifying you. 2. I'm sure there is a blocking feature. 3. Good. 4. Not me, since I'm not IM'ing you.
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Word Association
Wolfie replied to Lady Night Owl's topic in Jokes, funny stories, humor and other fun
cash -
Sounds like those people have no lives. A quick wit might cure them. "Are you that pathetic that you have to IM me randomly in an effort to insult me, when really you are just showing how lifeless you are because you are showing attention to someone that you consider to be beneath you?" No matter what they say, they just got told and there's no recovering from that. If they continue on, then that's the time for the ignore button. "Look, it's obvious that I'm more important than you.. But unfortunately for your pathetic self, I don't have time for you. Bye bye! *blocks*" Keeping an upbeat attitude in the IM will piss them off, and then they'll be spending lots of quality time fuming about it. Then when they try to show it in school, be like, "You'd think that someone as cool and popular as you would have better things to do than to try to harass me. Guess you're not as cool after all, eh?" Attacking their coolness factor like that sets them up, because then if they DON'T do something, then they're a pushover. If they DO do something, then they are basically confirming what was said - that they have nothing better to do. But wait, a true popular kid WOULD have something better to do.. Uh oh, their popularity is suddenly being challenged... Also has the benefit of their getting into trouble and having to serve time (in detention) with other non-popular kids. Which then works against them because it's like they want to hang out with them.
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Word Association
Wolfie replied to Lady Night Owl's topic in Jokes, funny stories, humor and other fun
phone -
It can work, provided that you get enough into the idea and you also have some 'muscle' that joins up as well. The idea wouldn't be to form an 'anti crowd', because then that's the same as forming a crowd. The idea would be more to keep balance, so that those who don't want to be a part of a group are free to be who they are without being picked on for it.
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It's not as simple as just walking up to them and being like "hey, wanna help save my ass?" Gotta befriend them first. Those that you know will go for the idea, tell it to them upfront. Idea being that it'll form a small beginning unit. Then they can get those that they know will go for the idea to join up. Once there is enough in the group, then others who think it's stupid will rethink it when they find out how many people are already in on it. Just make sure that you don't start acting like part of 'the crowd'. Basically, don't treat someone like crap if they aren't a part of 'the movement'. I assure you that as soon as they get picked on by 'the crowd', then if they are stood up for, they'll probably decide that it's not such a stupid idea after all and decide that they're in as well.
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No. Go get something to eat or drink, go potty, pay attention to the computer (ignore the tv), smack yourself upside your head, etc.
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I'm sure it doesn't help that there are some there that aren't a part of any of the "popular" cliques, but yet they are treated with respect. It's like that in all schools. The problem comes when they are able to size you up as being a pushover. Just keep note of those who do and don't help you when you ask for it. If someone helps, then if they ever need help, you give it to them. If they ask for help but refused it to you before, be obvious with your excuse about not helping them. "Uh, sorry, I'm helping someone else." When they point out that you're not helping someone else, just be like, "uhhhh ok you got me, really I just don't want to help you because..." and then tell them about the time you needed help and then they blew you off because you weren't popular. That way they realize that you're not going to kiss their ass just because they're part of a certain crowd. Only drawback is that you will be considered a prime target of their bashings, so you'll either need to have a backbone and be ready to kick their asses (just a couple of them) so they'll know to respect you and leave you alone, or more likely for you, learn how to vanish until they give up on trying to get you. If you can figure out how to not be considered a pushover from the beginning, then they'll likely treat you as though you're a part of the crowd enough that you can get help when you need it but otherwise leave you alone. Of course, the alternative is to gather up those that are not a part of the crowd, and get enough of a following that when someone that's not "popular" is getting picked on or mistreated, then all the others come to the rescue. Since popular people prey on the weak, they will look for a new victim when the current one becomes too much of a challenge.
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You need help because you are sitting there and accepting the punishment of the commercial. That's a form of self inflicted pain.
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Because this is fluff the rat, not fluff the wolf. *fluffs the rat*
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You know you're having a bad day...
Wolfie replied to Wolfie's topic in Jokes, funny stories, humor and other fun
Why? I just wrote one. -
Word Association
Wolfie replied to Lady Night Owl's topic in Jokes, funny stories, humor and other fun
eleven -
*farts on the rat and then fluffs the rat*
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Just hope you don't have one of these days... You wake up because of sudden silence from the power going out, look at your watch and then notice that you're already an hour late for being somewhere. For some reason, either the alarm clock didn't go off, or you turned it off and went back to sleep but don't remember. You call the power company, only to hold for 10 minutes before getting someone who claims to have been there for years, even though they seem completely clueless about how to take your information and then try to figure out what's going on. You get an appointment for a week later to trouble shoot your problem. You're certain that it's an outage, despite being told that there are no other calls coming in and your whole house is powerless. You have bad b.o. (body odor) so you absolutely MUST take a bath or shower. You quickly learn that the water heater was in the process of flushing the tank to heat some new water when the power suddenly went. Either you have an electric stove, or you have a gas stove with electric ignition and no matches. So you can't heat up some water to bathe with. You suffer a cold shower, shivering your sensitive spot(s).. (ahem). You forgot to get more shampoo at the store, so you have to rely on using regular soap to clean your greasy hair. The only clean outfit you have ends up having a hole in a rather embarrassing location, so you dig through to find clean looking and non-smelling clothes to wear. You have to settle for wrinkles. As you run out the door, the power comes back on. If only you weren't running late, you could afford to heat some water for a warm bath instead of suffering that ice cold shower earlier. After getting out into the traffic, you go to make calls to let people know you overslept. That's when you realize that you left your cell phone at home. You decide that it's only another couple of minutes, so you quickly turn around and head back to the house. You get back and an annoying neighbor sees you then proceeds to try to talk to you, despite your saying that you are running late and don't have time to talk. Getting inside, you dig around for 5 minutes for the phone. You try calling it only to instantly get your voice mail. Hanging up, you turn around and there it is, right in front of you... with a dead battery because you forgot to recharge it the night before. Again going out the door, the neighbor tries to engage you in another conversation, with it taking 3 or 4 minutes to get away from them. Back on the road, you notice that traffic is backed up because of an accident (coincidentally, where you made your hasty turn to return home). As you are starting to pass the accident scene, an officer waves you over and a few people are pointing at you saying, "That's the person who caused this accident!" After spending an hour debating with the officers about how you didn't do anything wrong in your driving, despite the claims of the others, you are back on your way with a citation for wreckless driving, court date is on your birthday or some other day of significance to you. Arriving 3 hours late, you get fussed at for being inconsiderate to be so late as though you are royalty. No one wants to hear your reason for being late because of how pissed they are at you. Doing what needs to be done, you stay later than you had originally planned, in an effort to make it up to the others for your being so late. After everyone else has left, you go to your car, only to discover that a vandal slashed all 4 of your tires. You grab for your cell but remember that it's at home charging. No payphones nearby and all nearby businesses are closed down. Too bad you're in a low-traffic area too. Walking to the nearest place that has a phone you can use, 2 miles away, your leg starts severely cramping halfway there. You drop to the ground in pain and roll uncontrollably into a ditch and remain there for a couple of minutes, waiting for the cramp to clear up. During that time, you see 3 different tow-trucks drive by. Oddly enough, after you are able to walk (limp) again, there is no more traffic for the rest of your walk. You finally make it to a phone and then have to wait 30 minutes while some punk makes multiple calls to do their obvious drug dealing arrangements. After 30 minutes is when you decide to get rude and tell them to stop their drug dealing long enough to let you call for help. Rudeness gets you no where as you realize that you need coin change to use the phone, and the only coin change you have is in your car. The punk wants $5 in exchange for change for a dollars worth of change. After finally calling a couple of friends (first one had a long 4 hour work day and now they want to relax - seems they had a bad day because they lost a couple of quarters in a snack machine at work so they are blowing you off). Second friend agrees to help you out, but they want you to reimburse them the gas money because you're so far away, even though you've given them plenty of rides for free and they make more money than you. Friend arrives, takes you back to your car while you use their phone to call for a towing service. Estimated time is 2 hours. You already know your friend won't be willing to wait with you for the entire 2 hours. Getting back to the car, you see that it's been broken into and your new CD/Rradio and your CD's are missing. Calling the police, they announce to you that they'll get someone out there in about 3 hours. The pain is slowly returning in your leg from another cramp. You call back the towing service and police to cancel your calls. Tow truck is already pulling up to the car so if you cancel now, you'll be billed $50 (or more). Police dispatch tells you that an officer is already on the way and will be there in about 15 minutes. You ask for an ambulance for your cramped leg and hear that since it's a minor medical situation, it'll be about an hour before one could get to you. Both the towing company and the police dispatch comment that it must be your lucky day because they were able to get to you so quickly. After 20 minutes, the towtruck driver informs you that he can't continue to wait for the officer to show up, so if an officer doesn't show up within another 10 minutes, then they'll either have to go ahead and tow your vehicle, or charge you even if it's not towed. You call the police dispatch again, only to be told that the officer closed out the call because they couldn't find the vehicle. The dispatcher that took the call before got the address wrong, so it'll be at least 30 more minutes before an officer can get out to the right address. You're also informed to not touch nor move the vehicle until an officer has had a chance to look at the crime scene. It was a wishful dream to only be charged $50 for canceling the towing service call. It's $75 to cancel, along with $25 for the 30 minutes of waiting. You call back the police dispatch and tell them to disregard the call, that you'll just call them back the next day because your friend is about to leave and without them, you have no ride home. By now your leg is feeling better, so your friend drops you off at home. The operator at the power company obviously has problems because they told you someone would be out next week but really someone came out that day. Since you weren't there at the scheduled time, you're charged an additional $25 service call fee. Getting the phone to call the power company back, you are told that you will either have to call the next day, or dial a long distance number for immediate assistance. You grab your cell phone to make the long distance call. You hear an announcement telling you that your service has been cut off due to non payment. Getting on the regular phone, you call your cell phone company and give them reference numbers for the payments you have made. An error was made and your payment had gone onto someone elses account. The operator will have to file a form to have the payment removed from the other persons account and applied to yours, a process that will take at least 2 months. You make another payment to restore your service until then, only to be told that your service will take about 4 to 8 hours to be restored. After the harsh day, a hot shower sounds like a good idea. That's when you discover that the water heater has crapped out on you. You trouble shoot and realize that the timer unit got smoked when the power flaked off and then surged back on. Luckily, it didn't cause anything else to fry, except for the washing machine. Guess you won't be washing any clothes then. You boil a few pots of water and make a nice bath to soak in. Once in and relaxed, you hear the phone ringing. Answering it, you are informed by an officer that your car was found burning and that since it's on a lot where parking is prohibited after a certain time, you are going to be given a parking citation. You decide that you've had enough, so you go and set your clock and the alarm on it, double checking to make sure that it's set correctly. Falling asleep, you suddenly wake up when you realize that the power is out again. Stumbling around to find a flashlight, you trip over something and twist your ankle. It's already been a rough day so you just give up and crawl back into the bed. Suddenly the cell phone, in the other room, starts ringing... That day would just suck ass. Sorry, it was a funny thought that I had.
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Word Association
Wolfie replied to Lady Night Owl's topic in Jokes, funny stories, humor and other fun
beach -
Cheese can be deadly to rats.
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Cheese is bad for rats. *fluffs the rat*