eva

how about one in my pants

.. and i have it. mainly, i don't like talking to new people in person or on the phone. i don't like checking out in stores because then i have to talk to the cashier. i don't like calling to make appointments because i have to talk to the secretary. i run through the conversations or interactions in my head tons of times before they happen. it sounds insane, but it's not something i can really do anything about except deal with in the best way i know possible, and that's with baby steps. i wish that some people would try to understand that a little better and not just demand that i do whatever they think i should do without having any compassion for my situation. it's not like i just make it up. it's something i have a really big problem dealing with in life. it's the reason i have a hard time going places alone. i tend to drag friends with me everywhere. at school, it's hard for me to even go to a meal without a friend, so a lot of times, if i can't find someone to go with i'll just stay in my room and skip it. probably not too terrible since i need to lose a bit of weight =P but obviously it's not just something i'm making up for the hell of it. i've been like this for as long as i can remember, and it sure isn't fun. and even when i do get somewhere, it's hard to do it again. like, when i was little, i used to always get gas, and i once managed to pour gasoline all over myself, so i never got my own gas, even though i've been driving for over 3 years. i finally got myself to do it this past spring, after going to the gas station many times and watching other people do it, convincing myself i wouldn't end up covered in gas, but i haven't done it again since then, so even after progress, i regress. oh well. it'd just be nice if CERTAIN PEOPLE would try to be a bit more understanding, even if waiting on me is getting annoying.

it's just sad how set we are on getting instant gratification.. no one wants to work for anything, and we want everything at the push of a button.

why should anyone have to go to bed at 8 pm? do you get up in the wee hours of the morning? then again, maybe your mom thinks your really stressed about something, and just lying down and listening to music or reading can help with that.. if you're not close with her she could just be trying to help?

i know i'm guilty of doing this in the past, but i'm really getting sick of being ditched by my best friend for her boyfriend. i wouldn't mind as much if i wasn't about to go back to school 3 1/2 hours away from home knowing that she'll be able to see him possibly every weekend if she really wants when she won't see me again for months. it's just, this friday, we were supposed to take a little trip to go see a band we really like, and we'd been planning it for weeks, and then last week i started getting a feeling she was going to back out. of course, sunday she tells me it's not going to work. then i find out today that she's going to that same city tomorrow, with the boyfriend. then she asks if we can take a trip up to her new apartment next week so i can see it before i leave, but next week for me is just about the busiest thing in my world, so for all i know, she's not going to spend any real time with me before i go away. i guess i probably sound really greedy, but every summer we plan and take a little trip, and it just sucks that she backed out at the last minute, but is fine going on one with the boyfriend.

i had another teacher who was "allergic" to both gum and chalk. of course, as she was one of the butchiest teachers in the school, everyone loved trying to chew gum in her class. she taught mostly sciences, and she'd have her chemistry classes write companies and ask how they made products (like nail polish, lip gloss..) well, a couple boys decided to write a bubble gum company. the company sent the boys some free gum, which they never claimed, leaving the teacher with a gift she really enjoyed. obviously she wasn't really allergic or something probably would've happened from opening the package.. whatever. anyway, because of the so-called chalk allergy, she used an overhead projector to do exercises in class. she was constantly licking her fingers and wiping the ink off of the screen. one day, she managed to smear the blue ink all over her forehead. i sat with a good friend, who was quite the prankster, especially in that class (he once went as far as asking this teacher to marry him,) and he kept telling her that she "had blue stuff all over her face." she refused to even check a mirror because she thought he was joking around, and everyone in the class was laughing behind her back the rest of the period. i'm sure she felt great the next time she saw her reflection.

even better is the guy who asks 500 questions every class. not good questions either. the really obvious ones that he's using to waste time that tend to get in the way of other students who actually want to know things. usually they consist of "where do i write my name?" "how many questions are on this paper that i'm holding?" "what time does class end?" "why is everyone glaring at me like they want me to die?"

this is why cats are better. they generally amuse themselves and only come to you when they really want attention or they know you're upset. they are litter trained, so you don't have to let them out of the damned house every time they have to piss. they don't slobber all over you, and they generally don't smell too terrible, unless they're old and unkempt, in which case they're probably going to die soon anyway, so you can just put up with it.

i guess it's fine if you're on empty country roads, but at the same time, i have a friend who lives out in the country who was late to school and speeding... on a slick road.. and ended up driving into a telephone pole, so really, just don't be an idiot about it and it should be ok.

that's why you look both ways before crossing the street! i wish people got prizes for driving slow. i don't really speed, and all i get is yelled at.

my senior year of high school i had this crazy english teacher who was well into her 70s and shouldn't have been teaching anymore, but somehow, she still is now. anyway, if she liked you, class consisted of writing articles for the high school press page in the local paper, but if she hated you, class was hell. one day, after we just started reading a new book, a girl came into class saying she didn't understand what she read. the teacher picked on her to answer the first question. she couldn't. she was asked to answer the next couple.. and then the teacher stated that perhaps she shouldn't have signed up for an honors class if she wasn't capable of the work... only in not so nice words.. in front of the whole class. a couple minutes later the girl ended up walking out. while filling out evaluations, a kid in the other honors class stated that he thought the class was too easy. the teacher figured out who it was. that class had a lot more work than ours the rest of the year, and the kid never lived it down. luckily, i was liked, so i didn't have to worry about getting yelled at. i even went back to visit after graduation and got $10 for answering questions from graduating seniors =D

this girl started hating me in junior high.. for no apparent reason.. and never stopped. the most annoying thing she does is give me these death glares, which most of my friends think are hilarious, but they creep me out a good bit. mostly, she is just really stupid. when i was 15, i started hanging out with this guy, whom i didn't know she had a crush on, so she told him that i was in a gang (in small town middle america?) and i did drugs (also not true). anyway, he and i started dating, and her congratulations for that was to hug him, forcing his face into her chest and causing an outburst of laughter after she left the room. probably the worst thing she did was go to a teacher and proclaim that i was using my position (in marching band) to be mean to her, but the teacher and i were close, and he knew what was going on. i really wasn't trying to be mean. she was really spacy and bad at marching... and playing too..

in second grade, as the token jew, i was helping my mom give a presentation about hanukkah. the teacher asked me to go to the map and point out where israel was in europe. if you don't know what's wrong with that, go look at a map. the same teacher, during a parent teacher conference, told my mom that she was giving me a b in math because she didn't want me to become a perfectionist. i've run across some pretty stupid teachers, but i'm pretty sure she still holds the title for me.

people saying my name wrong. it's eve-uh. i just about smack people when they repeatedly say it wrong. makes me want to scream. i also can't stand when people say "that's gay" or "that's retarded," especially when they're people who insist they stand up for people who aren't "normal."

this girl used to be smart. for some reason, as her chest inflated, her brain deflated. luckily i only had a case of serious inflation in both areas. =P

i run if i see the man who lives next door. he scares the shit out of me. once he even tried to discipline me for "driving too fast." i'd like to know what he considers driving to fast for his SON who has a nice habit of wrecking cars... i guess it wouldn't have bothered me so much if 1. i'm one of the most law abiding drivers i know. i drive slower than just about every one but some really old fogies and my mom.. on our road i never go faster than 20. that'd just be ridiculous, and 2. he was complaining about how parked up the street was... when it was all his doing. this man lives in a house with just his son, but they own at least 5 vehicles and constantly have people visiting. it's very rare to drive down the street and not see at least one car parked in the road in front of their home. he also seems really shady.. like he tries to make goody goody with all the neighbors (we live mostly around older people) by mowing their lawns or selling one of his 500 cars to their grandchildren, but it's too good to be true. i'm secretly hoping his house will blow up from the meth lab he's hiding in there and his true being will be revealed to the world.. without damaging my house, of course.

there was a hold up at a bank near here a couple weeks ago. a sheriff ended up dying from gun shot wounds. i think i'm going to start a new post ranting about your posts.

when i think of stupid people to rant about i tend to think more about people who, perhaps in a line, turn to a disabled kids mom and complain about how slow the kid is, not realizing who they are talking to.. OR even better.. there's this girl i went to high school with who may qualify as one of the stupidest people on the planet. she once raised her hand in class and asked if the atomic bomb was a bomb. another time, when someone told her she was dumb, she objected, so the person asked her to spell dumb. she replied, "d-u-m."

i do, in general, enjoy both my jobs. especially giving lessons. i get a real reward out of teaching people, but i will never enjoy cleaning shit out of toilets.

don't worry. once you start working, you'll be raging about why you have to work.